The Dann & Twan Blog

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Rose pledges $1000 per point

Derrick Rose has pledged $1000 for every point he scores this upcoming weekend to relief efforts in Japan. This has us here at the Dann & Twan Show thinking, what factors could the other Bulls players use to determine their donations to this humanitarian effort?

Brian Scalabrine: $500 for every high five coming into a timeout or dead ball substitution.

Kyle Korver: $300 for every bottle of Hot Sauce sold.

Carlos Boozer: $75 for every time he thinks he gets fouled but doesn’t get the call.

Luol Deng: $5000 for every regulation minute he doesn’t play.

Keith Bogans: $10 for every person who complains about him starting.

John Lucas III: His entire prorated salary for missing that free throw in Denver.

Rasual Butler: $1000 for every “Scal-uh-bree-nee” chant he defuses by entering as the twelfth man.

Kurt Thomas: $250 for every time someone in the media mentions that, despite Thibs calling him the team’s best low post defender, he knows that his role is out of the rotation.

Omer Asik: $5 for every time he drops a pass and gets fouled on the layup rather than dunking.

Joakim Noah: $1000 for every rebound.

C.J. Watson:  $250 for every ill-advised jumper that goes in anyway. $500 when he misses.

Ronnie Brewer: $250 for every “hustle” play, comparable to a white guy “grinder” in MLB.

Jannero Pargo: $25 –poor guy can’t afford any more than that.

Taj Gibson: $1200 for every block or steal.

Preseason All-Star Teams

Opening day approaches, and for Chicago baseball fans that means the Bulls are the top seed in the Eastern Conference with two weeks left in the regular season. But there are some interesting subplots, most involving interesting injuries and confounding contract conundrums. With that in mind, it’s time to explore the most absurd and annoying situations found across the bigs at this early point:

The All-Injured All Stars:

C – Fernando Cervelli, NYY – the most ready of the Evil Empire’s young backstop apprentices is hurt to stat the year, leaving Russell Martin, Posada’s rotting corpse, and a pile of money dangling for a veteran backup backstop. As a Cubs fan, I wonder if Hendry might interest Messrs Cashman and Steinbrenner in a zombie-handed switch-flailer who “handles the pitching staff well.”

1B – Adrian Gonzalez, BOS – coming off of a shoulder surgery, Gonzalez has to prove to Theo Epstein that he can play multiple full games in a row before getting the privilege of signing his name to a nine-figure contract. Considering the BoSox mortgaged the farm for him, one can only hope it blows up in their face.

2B – Chase Utley, PHI – the oft-proclaimed best 2B in the game, Chase has been sidelined all spring. A year removed from a hip surgery, Utley is again experiencing lower body problems. Legs. Get your minds out of the gutter. Anyhow, the Phils are outwardly unworried, but the speed with which they snatched up professional pitch-taker Luis Castillo, who sucks at baseball to the point that the lowly Mets cut him and ate $6 million they owe to Madoff victims, belies their façade of calm.

3B – Ryan Zimmerman, WSN

SS – Jose Reyes,

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